And Lolmeowaj now presents....

NEWPORK SLUMS: a very EBA Thanksgiving

sponsered by DokiDoki/BasicallyEBA IG

Doki gave a sigh and she slouched onto her brown colored couch. She had been working hard all evening to get everything prepared for Thanksgiving. Everyone was planning to meet up at the New Pork Slums community center to all have thanksgiving together. Practically anyone who was respectable in New York Slums (anyone who frequented the Milkbar) was going to come. This included Doki's long standing crush, River. She wanted nothing more than ever to impress him, but with her romantic experience at most being watching the 1992 movie Cool World there was little she knew she could do. However there was one thing she could try, wooing him with her womanly charm, aka: trying to cook. Doki was no cook by no means but she had to try.

“Y'know you could have asked me to help, I cook a lot more than you do,” Lolmeow sighed.

“You don't understand, this is something I have to do myself, or it won't be authentic,” Doki replied.

“Authentic to what? Your bad cooking skills? I'm gonna head to bed, wake me if I don't get up before nine” Lolmeow scoffed.

“Eugh, fine whatever,” Doki turned away and picked up her phone. It was only a few hours away now until she could have the love of her life be all her own. The excitement built in her like a small white dog vibrating in her stomach and heart. But no time for that she needed to rest. She got up, went to her bedroom, and tried anxiously to sleep.

☆☆☆

Doki awoke quite early when she went to bed. It was still dark out, she opened up her blinds to see that there were still quite a few street lamps on. Doki flumped back onto her bed. It was quite a while before she needed to actually be up, but she couldn't sleep. So instead she started getting ready for the day, showering, washing her face, picking her outfit and doing her makeup. 

Doki settled on a tight pink top with sleeves and a low off the shoulders neckline that ended just before her belly button. Under that was an additionally tight black mini skirt with clearly manufactured rolls that went side to side. This was all adorned with silver sparkly jewelry, think Regina George. This will have to impress him, Doki thought. Walking out of the bathroom, Lolmeow stumbled into Doki checking herself out in the mirror. 

“Get it girly pop, really going for River huh?” Lolmeow asked.

“Of course! Go hurry and finish getting ready, I wanna get to the community center early so I'll be ready for him to arrive,” Doki said excitedly.

“Alright alright, I will,” Lolmeow said as she slipped into her room. She put on an outfit of a tight black sweater with a long ankle length brown denim skirt underneath. A fairly typical outfit for her actually. When she came back out she saw Doki sitting anxiously on the couch.

“Uh, are you good?” Lolmeow asked.

“Yes! Let's just go already!” Doki exclaimed.

“Hey wait, aren't we… forgetting something?” Lolmeow asked, concerned.

“...” 

“...” 

“OH MY GOD TIBBY, WHERE IS HE???” Doki yelled, worried.

☆☆☆

Doki took her first foot step into the New Pork Slums community center. She was holding Tibby up by his scruff. He was her son somehow, with Doki having no recollection of what guy she had sex with to have Tibby. But that was no matter to her, she loved Tibby deeply, with all of her heart that wasn't taken up by River likely.

“Tibby you better not ruin my day anymore than you already have,” Doki fumed.

“Common I just slept in a little, it ain't even that bad!” Tibby grumbled.

“In our collection of ps1 games??? You could've destroyed my poor man Gex,” Doki replied.

“Gex, Rayman, Cloud, they’re all very nice to sleep on,” Tibby said, closing his eyes to show some type of authority.

“Eugh, just, go… go sit your gay ass somewhere else while I'm trying to talk to River,” Doki Sighed.

“Ok ‘rizzler’ ima set up a Yugioh table” Tibby said as he hopped out of Doki's hand. Tibby ran off into the depths of the room. The New Pork Slums community was quite large, the second largest in the town actually with the only one beating it out being the staff building where all the mods worked. The opening room of the building, which was rarely rented due to its expenses, was a large ball-like room. On both the right and left sides of the room were curving staircases that led to a platform with a small water fountain. Additionally to the right and left, closer to the front door, were halls that led to all the other rooms that could be rented out for various purposes. Towards the staircases Doki could see Aubery and Balloon setting up a long table.

“Hey guys, what's going on!” Doki asked.

“Oh just setting up some tables. This is for setting all the food on and another to eat on,” Balloon answered.

“Uh.. you guys wouldn't have seen, uh, River come by yet would you?” Doki asked shyly, not being able to look Balloon in the eyes while asking.

“Er, no. He should be here soon, don't worry about it,” Balloon said.

“Ah erm, already tha-” Doki got caught cut off.

“Girl, move out the way, I'm carrying a whole turkey here,” Lolmeow said, annoyed.

“Oh yeah… EEP, I left my food in the car, I was so annoyed with Tibby I forgot to grab it! I'll be back,” Doki said, surprised.

☆☆☆

Over the next hour more people slowly came to the community center. First it was Ganon and her boyfriend with a green bean casserole (she's actually Canadian so she doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving in November, but still comes to be with friends and free food). Next was Cheese Addict with a whole wheel of cheese and smaller cups of Mac n Cheese. Then was Dan with both mashed and rassle back potatoes. Fourth to come in was Starch and Fozzie with gallon jugs of Milk in various flavors. Then Ed came in, initially seeming to bring in no food, but pulled out a small bag of marshmallows and strawberries, (He was under the impression there was going to be a chocolate fountain, there was not). Clockwork was the next to come in with various British delicacies such as scones, beans on toast, and fish n chips. 

Even more people came in such as Fassad, Vanil, Gumball, neidmayer, Return of Allison, but still no River. Doki was becoming increasingly anxious. Moving side to side and fiddling around in her seat. Where was he? Had he decided not to come? Is he with some girl (or guy) right now? All the various thoughts going through her head.

Doki leaned over to Lolmeow and asked, “Isn't Brian supposed to be here?”

“Yeah, he's just late because of his mom. That's not what you're worried about though now is it?” Lolmeow said plainly.

“Erg… that's… not.. wrong…” Right as Doki began to calculate her response she heard the door open again. She looked behind her and… It was River! (With no one additional!) He came in looking fairly sloppy as he usually does, long hair with stubble for a beard. Except instead, his usual outfit of a yellow flannel was swapped out for a red one, with a green shirt underneath it that read ‘Gamers don't die, They respawn’. Additionally his usual klonoa esk hat was replaced for a Santa hat with little elf ears off to the sides. This all being said his jeans and eye cover that had the appearance of a 2 ball in the pool remained the same. He came in carrying a large bag of popcorn.

Doki's eyes lit up, he was finally here, after so long of the two of them not seeing each other. She was so excited she just couldn't bear it anymore. She got up to talk to him and-

“Hey there man what's good? Been awhile huh?” Balloon asked as she walked up to River.

“Eyup, not since Pika took over the mod staff,” River said.

“Heh yeah crazy times huh? Alright come over here, you can place your popcorn on that table,” Balloon directed.

“Cool, thanks,” River gave as a quick response.

Eugh! Thwarted once more! Doki thought annoyed. She would get to him though, she was sure of it.

☆☆☆

At some point when it decided that everyone had shown up everyone started to grab food from the back table. It had been a little over a half an hour since River came in but Doki still hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to him. First she tried to go up to him but Ganon came up to talk to River first. Then, the second time, Tibby came up to Doki before she could take a few steps away from her seat asking where his Odd-eyes card went (why would she know??). Various attempts all blocked. Maybe her last chance to make sure she was able to talk to him was to make sure she was able to sit next to him while they ate. 

As everyone started putting food on their plates Doki stayed cautiously behind everyone else. She was watching River, she had to make sure he sat down first. Once she did she quickly grabbed everything she wanted and sat down next to River. This time there was finally nobody in the way, she could finally talk to him… except. She was too nervous to say anything! What was she gonna do? She was worried anything she was gonna say would be too stupid. This was until…

“A lot has changed since I've been gone, right?” River asked. O-Oh my god, River had started talking for her! Doki was still nervous but at least she didn’t have to say the first thing.

“Oh, well that’s how it is. You could’ve stuck around, we all really like you,” Doki replied.

“Yeah well, not everyone can stick around forever,” River sighed.

“Well… Uh, hey y’know the food table, did you try those rolls?” Doki asked, trying to change the subject.

“I was actually but you see-” River got cut off. Everyone heard the front door open with a distinct foot step come through. It was Pika. Everyone stood still with shock. Why had she shown up? Who invited her? How can we get her to leave?

“Pika, er ma'am, we're gonna have to ask you to leave” Balloon said in a firm southern tone standing up from her seat.

“What? I'm a member of the Earthbound Amino, am I not? I should be allowed to come,” Pika said, clearly annoyed but not faltering in tone to show her authority.

“Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to leave, I think Clockwork's restraining order against you should be enough,” Balloon restated.

“Hmph, fine, be that way but something will be missing,” Pika scoffed as she turned to walk out the door.

“Missing something?” Clockwork began, “... wait… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH GI'IAN?” Clockwork shouted.

“Hehehehe, took you long enough hm? Well if you won't let me stay you can't have Gi’ian” Pika laughed.

“W-What, no! You can't just take them!” ClockWork stammered.

“Pika what have you done with Gi'ian,” Balloon asked, anger building in her.

“If you don't let me in, you can't have Gi-” Pika got cut off, she was punched in the gut by Balloon jumping over to her.

“I will ask again. Where. Is. Gi'ian.” Balloon asked.

“Suck. My. Cock.” Pika growled. She then threw a punch back at Balloon. Balloon quickly dodged and retaliated but Pika blocked it with her arm. They continuously threw punches and blocked each other faster than anybody else could see. 

“Guys stop! We can talk this out!” Lolmeow shouted.

Doki placed her hand on Lolmeow's shoulder. “No, no, let it happen. Her ass deserves to be beat,” Doki said.

“Sure, but, Pika has the ban hammer now, the match is completely unfair if she starts to use it,” Lolmeow said hurriedly.

“Oh… right… SHIT” Doki said, shocked.

“Yeah,” Lolmeow said as she rolled her eyes. Their fight continued on, throwing punches, kicking each other, all being blocked. The two were perfectly matched. For now. Clockwork walked over to Doki and Lolmeow and grabbed them closer to whisper in their ears.

“Guys, I just found Gi'ian's location using track my iphone. I'm pretty sure they're being held in the trunk of Pika's car, I need one of you guys to get them,” Clockwork whispered.

“Gi'ian is your friend, why don't you get them?” Doki asked.

“I have a restraining order,”

“So?”

“You see if I get too close to Pika a bubble will literally form around me and it won't go away for like, I dunno, a half an hour,” 

“Eugh, fine then I'll go,” Doki grumbled. She took a few steps forward trying to stay away from the fight going on. She had almost reached the door when.

“You there! What are you doing!” Pika shouted. She stopped dead in the fight, holding Balloon up by her collar and pointing towards Doki.

“Uh… I'm gonna go get get Gi'ian?” Doki grumbled. Pika dropped Balloon to the floor and ran over to grab Doki. The two struggled with Doki wrestling Pika to get her off of her. Pika grabbed at Doki's hair, suddenly pulling off her wig and revealing her cornrows underneath.

“Hehe, I should've presumed that pink wasn't your natural hair color, hahaha” Pika laughed. She convulsed and twisted her body as she laughed. Doki's face at first turned a bright red, but then her eyes started glowing white and the tips of her hair started turning blonde and sticking upwards. 

“HOW DARE YOU?!” Doki growled. She grabbed Pika spinned her around and then Doki let her go and she crashed through the door. Pika got thrown so high up she could see the curvature of the earth. Pika was thrown so far away nobody knew where she had gone. Everyone stood still in shock. Balloon lifted up her head to see what happened. 

“You… got rid of Pika?” Balloon asked.

“Uh, I guess,” Doki replied. Everyone cheered. She had gotten rid of Pika! Everyone celebrated and cheered, they were all so happy to be rid of Pika. 

☆☆☆

Clockwork and Balloon quickly rushed to get Gi'ian out of Pika's trunk. Fortunately they were safe, just a couple of bruises from being tied up. Everyone got up from their eating to either clean up to damage or help out Gi'ian. Doki was sitting on the ground from where she beat up Pika. She was still a bit in shock over the whole thing. Slowly River walked up to see her.

“Soo.. pretty cool how you uh, got rid of Pika,” River said.

“Oh.. I suppose so, It's just, I have no clue where my wig went…” Doki sighed.

“Wig or no wig I think you look pretty good,” River smiled.

“Really?” Doki asked.

“Yeah… I uh weren't you asking if I tried the rolls?” River inquired.

“Sigh.. yeah.. you see I well, I had actually made them for you specifically. But I mean rolls? Come on, Lolmeow was right. It's just River, I dunno if you know from when we used to chat but, I really do like you,” Doki said in a sober tone.

“Yeah… I could sorta conclude so. I'm sorry Doki but, I just don't like you that way. I appreciate that you care so much but, I mean, I've left this life a long time ago. I only really came back to say hi, I'm not returning,” River answered.

“I see… I understand, it's alright we all have our own lives I suppose,” Doki relented.

“Yeah… but hey man I owe the money for a new wig alright?” River said.

“Alright, you do then,” Doki smilied. River smiled back and gave Doki a thumbs up before walking away. He went through the door to head home. Doki hasn't seen him ever since then.

“Damn got rejected huh?” Lolmeow asked.

“Mhm, it's ok though, I don't think it was meant to be,” Doki sighed.

Tibby walked over to Doki and Lolmeow. He looked from side to side and proceeded to say, “Well damn that sucks balls, but y'know what guys, I think I hear a song coming on.”

Doki and Lolmeow looked at each other confused. Right at the moment, at the end of the right hand staircase, Ed pulled out a full DJ stereo setup out of his jean pocket. Out of his other pocket he pulled a vinyl, and spinned it from his hand to the turntable in one slick motion. Then Ed began to play the 2011 song Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.

Everyone was dancing and having a good time. It probably looked something like viziepop's die young video with Ed and Doki singing the lyrics. Everyone was dancing except Balloon who was standing at the wall tapping her foot.

“Common Balloon I know you want to dance,” Aubery giggled.

“Err I'm not so sure,” Balloon said cautiously.

“Come here you big oaf,” Aubery laughed. She grabbed Balloon's arms and the two started spinning around and dancing. 

someone else stepped through the door as everyone was dancing.

"So, what did I miss guys?" Brian asked.